Sad Faced Guard List

Tonight I made an army list that made me sad.  I was trying to come up with a guard list that wouldn't auto-lose to my Jump Blood Angels list (or any 'well constructed' Blood Angels list for that matter), but would also be competitive against everything else.  One thought led to another and I came up with the idea that plasma was key.  Alright, read on to look at the list.


Well, here's the list.


2000 Points of Pure (sad-faced) Win (lol)

Company Command Squad w/ 4x Melta Guns, Chimera w/ HF
Company Command Squad w/ 4x Plasma Guns, Plasma Pistol, Chimera w/ HF

8x Psyker Battle Squad (9 total with the battle leader guy), Chimera w/ HF

10x Veterans w/ 3x Melta Guns, 7x Shotguns, Chimera w/ HF
10x Veterans w/ 3x Melta Guns, 7x Shotguns, Chimera w/ HF
10x Veterans w/ 3x Plasma Guns, Plasma Pistol, Chimera w/ HF
10x Veterans w/ 3x Plasma Guns, Plasma Pistol, Chimera w/ HF
10x Veterans w/ 3x Plasma Guns, Plasma Pistol, Chimera w/ HF

3x Hydras w/ HB
3x Hydras w/ HB
3x Hydras w/ HB

So to recap:

17 AV12 tanks total
69 troops total

36 S7 shots, 75% of which will end up hitting
24 S6 shots
30 close range S7 AP2 shots (which granted, will end up killing 3 plasma dudes/turn)
10 close range S8 AP1 shots
 Lots and lots of small arms fire

Plus the ability to make squads run away if you kill enough of them.

And the ability to make your opponent's squads reroll successful cover saves (with orders).  Which is actually huge.

The idea is to kill lots and lots of power armor, without letting them have FNP.  I'm still not sure it will work against that list in particular, but I do know that that much fire power is overwhelming.  With that many AV12 vehicles to have to deal with, most armies won't really do very well.  I can't even begin to imagine what my Salamanders would do against this.  Or even my Wolfstar.

So... what beats this army every time?  What does this army lose to every time?  Anything?

I certainly can't think of something it's super weak against.  It laughs at Dark Eldar, and mocks Nids.  It even does well against Tau, which have the best ranged way of killing AV12.

The worst thing:  It's never going to be fun to play against this army.  Nobody enjoys trying to kill 17 AV12 vehicles, and then die because the real threat was inside of the things.  I mean, even if 6 guys die in the explosion, the squad's 'essence' is still intact, and can still dish out 7 plasma shots next turn.

I'm not sure if I would ever play (as the general of) this list.  It just seems like the potential for fun for my opponents is zero.  Don't get me wrong, I might be convinced to play it in a big national level awesomesauce tournament, but it would take a lot of talking myself into it first (and by a lot, I mean, I'd need some money to buy the other models, hahaha)

Anyways, it made me sad that lists like this can exist, though that shouldn't stop people from taking them if they want.  I'd still play against it.  Still, it makes me a little sad.  Does it make you sad too?  Let me know!  Feel free to 'improve' on my list, if you think it can be done while keeping the starting goal in mind:  killing FNP marines, while staying competitive.

And please, don't tell me that a squadron of Leman Russes will do well vs. Blood Angels.  So much fail with that line of thinking, it's not even funny.  You made the kitty sad just by thinking it.